he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize