"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
