I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
soo... how was my night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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