hotel room ftw
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize