He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
