The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
