I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
