If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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