The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
