4 words: hood of his car
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
