i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Will you blow on my dice?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
