your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
