Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
