so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize