the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
