Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
