just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
