the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
