I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
