so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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