Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
