i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize