Define "chronic" masturbator.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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