i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
