Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
