You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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