I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
