fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
