member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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