Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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