His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize