Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
