I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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