chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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