At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
