What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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