you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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