omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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