do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
