at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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