I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
