My first STD was from a foam party
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
