I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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