not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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