hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am midnight drunk by noon
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
