the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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