You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
