booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
