so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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