yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
