i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
