Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
