whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish i was in the wii world.
love makes seman taste better
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
