Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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