so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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