Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
