im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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