no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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