Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
