Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
