Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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