Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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