so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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