I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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