you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
