loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
