He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
