He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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